Letting Know
by EclipsedofSoul
Summary: After their night together, Bella and Edward face an awkward conversation... the consequences of which will lead them anywhere but to happiness. Sequel to ‘Letting Free’.


Letting Know

Summary: After their night together, Bella and Edward face an awkward conversation... the consequences of which will lead them anywhere but to happiness. Sequel to 'Letting Free'.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, it belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I'm just playing with her creations.

AN: Second in my 'Letting' series, set between 'Letting Free' and Letting Go, Letting In'.

--

The others laughter echoed off the small hallway separating the kitchen from the lounge and I listened to it with an almost wistful sigh. I was so lucky to have these people in my life, and not only that, but as my closest friends. After everything I'd been through recently I truly appreciated what they meant to me.

And one in particular, although he still caused more confusion than anything else.

It had been a fortnight since that night and we hadn't really spoken. I'd tried once, two days after but my words had got mumbled in my throat and I hadn't been able to say anything. He'd looked at me, smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes and said that everything would be alright. And then he'd acted as if nothing had happened between us, as if I hadn't asked this monumental thing of him that was staring to mean more to me than it really should.

It was killing me.

But what could I do about it? If his actions didn't make it perfectly clear that he wanted to forget the whole thing I had no idea why him saying that aloud to me would actually make it true. Plus that option had the added bonus of tearing my heart open. Our actions seemed to have poked holes all through it; I didn't want anything else bad to happen.

I don' think I'd be able to handle anything else bad happening.

Sudden footsteps broke me out of my reverie and I jumped knocking the glass next to my hand flying off the counter.

"No!" I cried, my hands uselessly reaching forward to try to stop it.

Of course I missed horribly but another hand shot out and caught it just as it was about to hit the ground, saving the glass from shattering and me from more embarrassing jokes that I was a safety hazard to anything fragile. Or at least more of those jokes.

"You need to be more careful." Edward smiled, placing the glass on the countertop.

"You know me." I sighed and returned my hands to the safety of the middle of the kitchen island, away from anything else.

Edward just continued smiling, although as it was always like in my presence recently it didn't reach his eyes, and moved behind me to the fridge. He didn't say anything, which even though wasn't completely the opposite of how we normally act around each other, was disconcerting; this silence was anything but comfortable.

"So how've you been?" I asked lamely.

"Good. Work's been busy but otherwise everything's okay." He answered, not fully meeting my gaze and I began to shrink backwards, away from him. "You?"

"Fine." I replied instantly, the usual lie rolling off my tongue.

"You know what fine stands for don't you?" Edward smirked, quoting a line from a movie we'd watched earlier.

I managed a laugh but otherwise turned away from him. He hadn't called me on my faux pas, as he normally did, forcing me to tell him how I was truly feeling. Instead he'd given me same lame line from a movie, trying to play it off. God, had I really ruined our friendship that much?

"Bella..." He began hesitantly and I whipped back around to face him, hoping against all hope that he'd do what he usually did, that he'd say exactly the right thing to put everything right and then we'd be back to how we were and everything would be good again.

"You know you can still talk to me, right?"

Those weren't the right words.

I turned away from him quickly then, not wanting him to see the pain and despair that had rocketed through me. Those words were exactly what Edward would have said over two weeks ago if anything was wrong with me. They were the words that I had craved for him to say right up until he had actually said them. Because when he'd said then I realised that they weren't the words to put us right anymore, even though I had no clue what the right words were.

"Bella." He said again and reached out a hand to touch my shoulder gently. A jolt of electricity ran through me at the touch and my mind flashed back to how it had felt to have him touch other parts of me. I jumped away from him so fast I almost mounted the kitchen counter, as I had been standing so close to it.

He immediately withdrew his hand and then stepped back across the kitchen several paces, his face blank except for a split-second where I though I saw pain. He hung his head and mumbled his next words so I had no idea what he was feeling as he said them. I could always read Edward from either his eyes of his tone of voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. I guess you don't want reminding... I'll just stay away..."

"No!" I said suddenly, spinning back around to face him. "I don't want that Edward. I didn't mean to offend you I just-"

"You don't have to explain Bella," He interrupted me softly, his quiet voice cutting through me like a knife. "I know if must be weird."

"It's not that," I said impatiently, because really the whole sleeping with him thing wasn't the weird part. _That_ was the weird part. He was my best friend I shouldn't not be weirded out by this, I shouldn't be feeling more than I should about it, I shouldn't be craving more of it... "I just want us to go back to the way we were," I lied desperately. "I'm sorry I put you in that situation, I truly am Edward," because he had to hate me for forcing him to do that "and I don't want to lose our friendship. You've been there for me in every way possible and I can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me" mainly because right now I don't understand it myself "I just can't lose you." I finished softly, knowing it was the total truth.

He stared back at me and then was across the kitchen in a flash, cradling me in his strong arms. "I'll always be here for you Bella."

I nodded into his chest, squeezed him tightly and then pushed away quickly, knowing if I didn't I'd probably do something I'd regret. I'd never felt anything like what I felt when he'd just wrapped his arms around me and right now I couldn't deal with it. I had his friendship and I'd cling to that with all my might but anything else and I just couldn't deal.

Grabbing the wine bottle from the counter I gave him a smile, hoping it didn't look too forced and fled from the kitchen, telling myself I had just imagined the look of devastation on his face. Edward was my friend and I wouldn't ruin it between us again.

--

I know this probably wasn't what most people were expecting but I wanted to write the back-story and give their actions more meaning. After all they were friends who went from a one night stand to suddenly realising they wanted a lot more, and that doesn't happen overnight. I wanted to try and show how they were dealing with this change and this is just the transition stage.

If you're interested in how this story pans out, the next part, 'Letting Loose', will be coming your way in the near future.


End file.
